


Dead Stars

by peachwentz



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, Just angst, M/M, Suicide, first person POV, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:18:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5254988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachwentz/pseuds/peachwentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pete's suicide note to patrick; vague and poetic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Stars

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST OF ALL i wrote this p quick so i'm sorry for typos and like shitty writing but, i tried to write it in pete's style, and idk it's p sad, maybe u won't cry but. i'm sorry anyways.

dear patrick

you asked me

"does it hurt"?

i think you meant the needle in my arm when i got the flu vaccination before you

but i answered

"yes"

only because it hurt my heart to be looking at you and knowing you were slipping through my fingertips

when i couldn't sleep i used to think about yr face in the sky

with the stars where you belong

you always seemed like you used to dance with the muses and needed to go home

it never mattered where we were

how far apart

the stars were always you

they were you looking for me

and telling me you were still here

that you still cared

as long as there were stars i would be okay

the dead cosmos were reminders of how alive you were

i'm gonna miss you

i already do

i threw the pills out the window halfway between california and texas

lost in the desert

and i never looked back

because you made me keep my head up and forward

i think about the way yr eyes used to shine

i am the ocean

you are the sun

i am made of dark waves and even darker demons

i am drowning

the salt burns my lungs

you started just craving the heat and the pleasure

to visit the sea

to swim in it

taste me on your tongue

then leave before the tide pulled you away

i'm sorry i didn't control the force of the water

i'm sorry i let you swim in me

i want to lay under you forever and be warm

i want to keep you safe

i have put you in a locket and put the gold heart into my pocket

i have felt the sugar sticking to my feet after it spilt on the tile

and i want more

i want this forever

i wish i could avoid the zephyr and tempest tossed inevitable

i wish i could give you the ring i won in that gas station

i wish we could be buried together long after we've passed out expiration date

i will never forget the time you kissed my forehead and told me you loved me

i love you too

the candle in the window sill has burnt out

the wick has crumbled

the glass has cracked

the wax has melted down over the cheap wood and stuck to the pane

it isn't your fault

i will never forget how hard you tried to keep me lit

how hard you worked when i bought the chemical cross ties

you gave me yrself

i gave you a small piece

i am sorry

i will miss you and your beautiful soul i will love you forever

"does it hurt?"

yes it does

it hurts cause i'm gonna be in a place with no stars

the dead cosmos rest in broken quartz graves

there are no stars

you are gone

i cannot touch you anymore

it will never stop hurting

i am in love with you

the purple flowers won

our graves are separate 

it hurts

i will never stop looking for the stars


End file.
